Every so often Matt and I will get an email from someone (that we don't know) who has come across our blog. They usually have a similar story to ours and just wanted to thank us for being so open, because they usually haven't had the opportunity yet to share their story and still feel so alone. This week we got one of those special emails. I share it with you (with permission) because I think so many people going through infertility feel the same way we do, and just need to keep hearing the message of hope.
Hi Bailey! I’m going to attempt to keep this short, although I know better (here’s to wishful thinking).
I came across your blog when I was googling some information on fertility treatments. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 2 years. Our regular doctors referred us to specialists, who thought everything was fine with me, but said my husband’s sperm count was a little low. So from there we went to a fertility clinic. We went through yet another round of tests and they said ****’ sperm count was fine. We did an HSG (my story is similar to yours – they basically had to do it twice) and my right ovary was blocked (although the fertility clinic Dr. thinks it spasmed and that it isn’t really blocked) So, they said **** and I are fine – so we fit into the unexplained infertility category. Sometimes I wish either of us had a diagnosis so we knew what to treat and how to treat it. I started Femara the same month and we completed our first IUI last week. Of course there are more details in between all that (as your blog has so perfectly put it), but that’s the basics.
I’ve read your entire blog over the last week or so. We’ve kept our infertility a secret so it was awesome getting to read something so heartfelt from someone who can relate to what we are going through. Reading your blog made me sad, nervous, angry, frustrated, peaceful and happy.
We are so hopeful that this cycle works. We want to be parents so badly. But we know the odds of the IUI working the first time are rare. We want to continue with treatments, but we’re not sure where the money will come from. Insurance hasn’t covered anything so we barely made the payment for the first round.
I don’t have any real reason for writing this, just that I wanted you to know that you’ve made a difference in my life. I couldn’t ever put our struggle with infertility into words like you did, but I’ve felt everything you wrote. I found a new appreciation for my husband, who has been so encouraging and understanding. I’ve learned to trust in what life has in store for us, because even as much as I’d like to plan every detail (and I try to), it doesn’t work that way. And patience…..If my friends and family only knew how patient I’ve become. This has been the hardest struggle of my life, but I keep thinking “tough situations don’t last, tough people do.” So for now, I count down the days until I go back to test my levels (2 more days).
Elizabeth, thank you for all that you said in your email. I can't tell you how often we have questioned if writing about "all of this" was the best choice, I think you made up our minds.