July 27, 2009
hot potato... no, hot needle!
I begin my first full round of infertility injections this week, Thursday through Sunday. And right now I feel like this is a game of hot potato! No one wants to catch the potato (or needle) and do what needs to be done with it. I am awful with needles, I pass out getting my blood drawn and have even stopped breathing, therefore, I am certainly out of this game! There is no way in God's creation that I could stab myself, not a chance!
Then there is my dear husband Matt... he has given hundreds of shots, the problem is his patients were pigs and certainly couldn't yell ouch. Bless his heart I know he keeps saying he won't give me the shots because he doesn't want to cause me pain, but that leaves us still looking for someone competent in handling a needle and syringe.
The dr's office will gladly give me the shots on Thursday and Friday, they told me to just stop in anytime I want and they'll do it quick and I can be on my way. That still leaves us with Saturday and Sunday to figure out someone who can help us. Unfortunately I thought I was getting the pre-filled cartridge pen, so it would make it super simple, but I'm not. I'm getting the good old fashioned bottle of medicine and syringe. Ughh... =(
Matt and I are supposed to be going out of town this weekend with a bunch of our friends to Lake Delhi to camp, go on the pontoon and jet skis and other fun stuff, but those plans may all be on hold if no one will be able to do this for me.
It's moments like this that I get frustrated. I so wish our plans weren't constantly dictated by what day of my cycle I'm on, or what medicine I need to take, and I wish I wasn't such a weeny with needles (but, the nurses at the dr's office have complemented me quite a bit in the last month about how much better I'm getting, ha, because I'm not passing out? Or because I still have to look away, lay down, and then sit on the end of the table for several minutes while I regain my nauseated composure?). I wish we weren't having to deal with all of this infertility "mess"... but we are. And it's also moments like this that I can choose to either have some hope and faith that there is a reason for all of this, or get sad. I think I'll choose option one today.