November 25, 2009

365 days of learning to trust

It has officially been a year, exactly, since we began trying to conceive. I never once thought we would be without a baby, or at least a baby belly by this Thanksgiving.

I am truly in shock that we are where we are. It has been an amazing, eye opening year. We have sold, rented, and bought a new house in this year. We have almost completely fixed up the house that we bought. We have joined an amazing group of Christian friends who we are so thankful for. I have learned that my husband, friends, and family are truly amazing. I learned an unbelievable amount about photography, and fallen in love with it. And most importantly, I have learned that God has blessed me with a phenomenal husband, for whom I am beyond thankful for. And just as importantly, I am beginning to learn to trust God's timing and plans for Matt and me. As I learn daily that I am not in control, I learn that God has a better plan for us.

In this past year I have gone from an uninformed, na├»ve, average woman trying to have a baby; to a knowledgeable, strong advocate for myself. I am proud of who I’ve become. Although I would not wish infertility on anyone, I can say that it has definitely shaped me in some positive ways. I am not afraid to ask for what I know is best for myself. I am not afraid to ask questions regarding decisions about my health. And I am not afraid to be “that girl” who calls for results of MY tests. I certainly hope that I don’t have to use these newly learned skills with another health issue, but I know that if I do I will be two steps ahead of where I could have been.

This year I am thankful that I am where I am, and that I am surrounded by some pretty incredible people.

**Prayers could be used today as we head to Iowa City for an appointment to make sure that there are no cysts and get the 'all clear' to move on with meds and shots. Thanks always!**


Anonymous said...

I hope that you get the all clear as far as your cysts. Awesome job on becoming stronger and standing up for yourself.

Nicole said...

I loved this post. It is such an amazing thing when we can take an ugly experience like IF and find something wonderful in it. That is what God wants us to do. I hope you have a fabulous TG and that you will have your baby or bump next TG! Fingers crossed for your appt.

Staci said...

good luck Bailey!! I hope everything goes well in IC! I'll be praying for you :)