1st date set

I just got off of the phone with Dr. O's nurse. We are scheduled for our internal ultrasound July 3rd! It actually works out perfect because Matt has the day off of work, so we won't have to try and schedule around his lunch break.

I start Femara (the breast cancer drug) later this week and will take it for 5 days, then a few days later we will go in for the ultrasound, I am actually really excited for the ultrasound! We will know right away at the ultrasound whether or not the new medicine is doing anything.

However, I'm a tad nervous for it now because halfway through the conversation the nurse said "And Dr. O talked to you about picking up an injection at the pharmacy the morning of the ultrasound, right?" I thought when we had talked to Dr. O at our last appointment he said we were waiting to do injections until the next round if we needed to, but he must have meant the multiple days of injections. This will only be one injection if the ultrasound shows that the follicles are all ready to go, to help them release. From what I've read there are two types of these "trigger" shots, one that must be injected deep into the muscle, and one that can be given just underneath the skin. I am SO keeping my fingers crossed that it is the one that can be given underneath the skin. I've heard the deep muscle shots are incredibly painful, and I am awful with needles, so keep your fingers crossed for me too!

On another note, we're headed off to a family reunion on Thursday morning for my dad's side of the family. We're all renting cabins at Honey Creek Park/Resort in Lake Rathbun in Southern Iowa. We'll be there until late Sunday, so I'll update when we get back on how the new medicine is going.

The main lodge:


One of the cabins:


The indoor water park by the main lodge:

Before & Afters

Finally I have our before and after pictures of our house ready to post!


Front of our house before and after:




Entry way before and after:


*We still have to remove the "god bless america" wall paper and border, hopefully we'll get to it sometime in the fall*






Living room before and after:




Man-room before and after:






Kitchen before and after:




One of the 4 Extra Bedroom before and afters:





Dining room before and after:





Bathroom before and after:





Our river rock, love it!


Master bedroom before and after:










We've decided to take a hiatus from major house projects for the summer so that we can enjoy what we've done so far, and so that I can concentrate on finishing up grad school(plus we really can't deal with any more wall paper or grout for a while!). We still need to take down the lovely "star/god bless america" wall paper in the entryway, but we're leaving that for a fall project. It's hard to believe how much we've gotten done in just a few short months. We really love our neighborhood and now we love our house too!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

That was the first word in a very important letter that I received this weekend. The letter was from Viterbo University, where I am currently enrolled and am earning my Master’s degree from. The letter was to let me know that I officially passed my comprehensive exams!

I am thrilled to know that I have passed all four parts, and that I do not have to re-do any of the parts of the test. I spent hours writing the exams and I am so glad that they’re over with! Now I am in the process of writing my last 4 final papers for graduation. In two weeks I will prepare a final power point presentation with information on my research project and results that I will present during the week of graduation in Wisconsin to a group of peers and professors… I’m only slightly nervous for that part of graduation. I’ve heard there is one professor that really drills you with questions about how you collected your data, etc… I’m really hoping I don’t end up with him!

So now I am down to the final steps before I can graduate, and I’m starting to get really excited to be done and have my Master’s completed!

Happy 1 Year and 2 Day Anniversary!!

Dear Bailey,

They always say better late then never…right!?! I just wanted to let you know that I just finished the best year of my life. I have enjoyed this wild ride we have started together and I look forward to many many years to come. There are so many stories we have created together and much laughter as well. There is so much I could say about our first year, but the main thing I want to tell you is Happy 1 year Anniversary and I look forward to many many more! I know this is short and sweet, but when I was trying to think of the exact words to say to you this morning, I looked at you sleeping peacefully in bed and all I could do was smile and think how I am the luckiest man to have you there next to me for many years! I love you Bailey and Happy Anniversary!!

Love your husband,
Matthew

Happy 1st Anniversary My Love!!!

Matt-
Happy Anniversary My Love!

I can’t believe that we have already been married a year. The time has absolutely flown by! Thank you for being you. You have made this year the best year of my life! I love you with my whole heart and couldn’t have asked for a more perfect first year together.

Love,
Bailey



A Newlywed Recipe
By Bailey King 6/14/09

1 ideal wedding day (minus the floods)
1 amazing honeymoon in Jamaica
1 heaping Cup of getting used to living together for the 1st time
1 new, adorable, 4 week old kitty
1 long drive for each of us to work and home each day
1 house sold, all on our own!
1 tiny apartment full of stuff, love, and Junie of course
1 quick stay at my parent’s house
1 new house with a dash of several remodeling projects
1 anniversary trip to Costa Rick planned
1 struggle with infertility
1 amazingly handsome, romantic, & darn near perfect husband

A Recipe For: 12 amazing months together as Mr. & Mrs.




So long… I will miss you dearly
By Bailey King 6/14/09

You were everything I always dreamed of, and more.
You were perfect in nearly every way.
You brought me roses for no reason.
You brought me lots of new experiences, like learning to live and be with the same person every day!
You taught me how to love someone else unconditionally.
You taught me to cook, clean, and even how to plant a garden.
You brought lots of laughter to my life, and even the occasional snort.
You made me cry, for good reasons and sometimes for sad reasons too.
You taught me to accept and embrace the occasional day of laziness.
You taught me to be patient… oh how you tested my patience.
You have been good for me, and I shall miss you.
I know I will never see you again, but I am grateful for this year that we’ve had together.
Our time is over, I must move on…
Goodbye newlywed year… I will never forget you.

we're switching dr's and moving on to the next step...

We're just back from the dr's office. We started with our midwife who informed us that after reading the ultrasound technicians results/comments from last week, I officially have one of the worst cases of PCOS that the ultrasound tech has ever seen... fabulous! My ovaries are completely lined with cysts, she explained it to us that it looks like "a string of pearls". Hmm... wish they were some pearls I could at least wear!

She then went on to explain that she only deals with mild infertility and that we were past that point now, so we needed to move onto a more specialized doctor. Another Dr. in the same practice deals with infertility so she asked if we were ready to meet with him and discuss our next steps... DUH! Of course I'm ready to discuss our next steps, I'm ready to get this train rolling. So we were lead to another room where we met Dr. O. He was great! Super friendly, very sympathetic, super knowledgeable and overall pleasant.

He looked through my ever growing file, and we talked about our next steps. He asked us if we were against doing injections. If you know me well, you know that I'm a huge needle phobe, in fact I just recently got my blood drawn along for the first time ever! I usually have to have someone go with me because I'm usually too dizzy to drive home. I always have to lay down, after passing out a few too many times I've learned my lesson. I certainly can't look at the needle or I'm done for! So I go to my "usual" room, lay down on the table, stick out my arm and look away. Thankfully (big shocker here) I had researched some of our next steps and knew shots were in our future, so I was prepared to have this discussion. I told him we were okay with injections if that's what it's going to take. After some more discussion he decided that he wants to try one more oral drug first.

Our next step is one month of Femara with internal ultrasounds to see if the Femara is helping anything to grow. I'm excited to move onto this step because we'll be getting ultrasounds quite frequently to monitor if the medicine is doing anything. We won't be guessing or waiting for blood results, we'll actually be able to see if any follicles are growing or not!

Femara is actually used to treat women with breast cancer. A little more in depth info: Aromatase is an enzyme that is responsible for the production of estrogen in the body. Femara works by inhibiting aromatase, thereby suppressing estrogen production. The result is that the pituitary gland produces more of the hormones needed to stimulate the ovaries.

If this next step doesn't produce ovulation, then the next month we will be doing Follitism injections. If that does nothing I believe our next step is to be referred on to a specialist at the University of Iowa hospital.

I'm relieved to have a plan, AND to be done with nasty Clomid (which if you weren't around me in the last months, count your blessings! Clomid had some pretty nasty emotional side effects).

Because I will be in Wisconsin for a week in July for graduation, we will start the ball rolling tonight in the hopes that all of my ultrasounds will be completed before I have to leave.

Overall I'm feeling excited and hopeful today... hopeful that this new medicine will do the trick. If it doesn't, I at least know what the next step is. When I'm left to ponder our next steps alone and stew in the results that what we just tried didn't work, I tend to get pretty sad, so this is a much better place to be emotionally. I've done quite a bit of research on infertility and it seems like the injections are pretty successful, so we'll keep our fingers crossed that if we need them next month they'll actually produce results for us.

Alligator (from Feb 09)

“Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome”… she said to us as we sat in the Dr.’s office, me on the awkward table with the stirrups, Matt in the tiny chair shoved in the corner. “Weight gain, thinning hair, increase in breakouts, and possible infertility are all common symptoms” she told us, “We’ll begin with blood work to see what we have to work with.”

Great… another disease to add to my repertoire. We can do this though, we’ll get through it, Matt loves me for who I am, not my increased waist size or crappy fertility.

The results of the blood work should be in today. I need to call, get it over with, what if she isn’t in the office all day? I need to just call and be done with this stomach ache. I waited for a quiet moment in my office to call the Dr.’s office. It finally came… I heard the horrible elevator music for a long time, and then finally a woman’s voice came on the phone.

I told her why I was calling. She took my name and number and said the nurse would call me back by the end of the day. Perfect, why not make me wait a little bit longer?

It was 3:38pm… my cell phone finally began ringing. I quickly grabbed it and ran across the hall where I knew I could get better reception. The Dr.’s nurse began to talk and I heard something about it being a low number. I quickly interrupted her to get the facts, “What exactly is my progesterone level?” I asked. I knew I was hoping for something over ten….

“0.47…” she said.

“Wow… really low, huh? So that means there is no way that I’m ovulating, right?”

“Correct"

I began to fade out what I was hearing.

… 0% chance of conceiving on my own right now, fabulous, just what every girl has always dreamed of hearing.

… “will need fertility medicine, and there are no guarantees that that will work, we’ll take it from here and see what we need to do.”

… “she needs to still consult with another Dr. to come up with an action plan, she will call you tomorrow….”

I hung up the phone and thought I was ok. I ran some errands, got my hair cut, came home for dinner and, one poorly placed comment later, I lost it. Big, fat, streaming alligator tears.

Do I really need to go through all of this too, I mean, come on! Why does everyone else in my family just THINK about getting pregnant and it happens for them? I’ve always dreamed of being a mother, what if it doesn’t happen for us? I know we’ll get pregnant, just relax. BUT, what if we don’t? Can I handle not ever having the chance to carry our child, to give birth to something that was created by us, that IS us? I don’t know if I can handle that. God, I know you are there, please just take this situation over and be in control. I want so badly to be the strong Christian who knows there is a plan, but I’m having a hard time giving up that control and not knowing if it will ever happen for us. Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 56:10 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 Ok, I’ll trust your plan, just give me the strength to do so.


(See post below if you're confused right now) =)

a crappy 6 month milestone....

We weren't sure that we were going to go "here" with our blog...but it seems like it's something that will help make what we're going through have a purpose.

Matt and I have officially hit a 6 month mark of dealing with infertility. That's definitely not a sentence that I have ever imagined I would be writing. You don't exactly dream as a little girl that you'll face such struggles when trying to start your family.

We're hopeful that by sharing all of our struggles it will help others in our same situation... you would be SHOCKED by all of the people around you that are dealing with infertility, yet you have no idea.

Let me back up a bit and explain how we got to this point. We officially "started trying" last November. It was a crazy day for us. We just decided that we were ready to "see what happens". Never did it cross my mind that things would get so difficult from there. In late December I still had not gotten my period and so we took a pregnancy test...obviously the result was negative. By mid January I still had not gotten my period so we contacted my dr's office and made an appointment with an amazing midwife that we hope to use when we do conceive. She asked lots of questions and did some blood work.

Our suspicions were confirmed a few weeks later when we went back to her office to discuss the results in February. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

Polycystic ovary syndrome is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. PCOS affects an estimated seven percent of all women. It is the most common hormonal disorder among women. Many of the symptoms include:
Acne
Weight gain and trouble losing weight
Extra hair on the face and body
Thinning hair on the scalp
Irregular periods. Often women with PCOS have fewer than nine periods a year. Some women have no periods. Others have very heavy bleeding.
Fertility problems, many women with PCOS have trouble getting pregnant (infertility)
Depression

Nearly all of these symptoms began to affect me within the first 3-4 months of getting off of birth control, which had helped mask the symptoms. Which is actually why I was put on birth control in high school because of some of the above symptoms, yet I wasn't diagnosed until this year.

By April we were ready to begin taking a commonly used fertility drug, Clomid. After dealing with it's lovely side effects like hot flashes, uncontrollable mood swings, and increased hunger, we were thinking positively. Blood work later in the month showed that the 50mg dose that I took did virtually nothing. This was devastating for us. We had heard SO many friends tell us that their first month on Clomid produced not only eggs, but an eventual conception also. I began to worry. I don't worry about the timing of when we will get pregnant,I know there is a time for everything, but instead this made me begin to worry IF it will happen at all for us.

My dr (she's actually our midwife, but dr is easier to use and type :) then put me on Metformin which is actually a medicine that is used for diabetes. Because PCOS affects insulin levels, which can stop a woman from ovulating, she wanted to try this in conjunction with a fertility medicine. This drug also had it's own lovely side effects. Stomach pains, diarrhea, and fatigue. After a month of being on this medicine most of the side effects have dramatically lessened, thank goodness!

In May I started my second round of Clomid, this time on 100mg. My dr also said that she wanted to see me for an internal ultrasound halfway through my cycle so that she could look directly at my ovaries to see if any follicles (which release the eggs) were growing. We recently had the ultrasound, and left with not so great news. The ultrasound technician said that there were no follicles ready for ovulation, and that I would not be ovulating this cycle. We were beyond disappointed.

I can definitely say that this whole experience is teaching me patience, something that I desperately need to work on, and is also strengthening our faith in God and His plan for us.


I wish I could say that this ends positively, but frankly, we don't know where this journey will take us. We go back to the dr's office next week to discuss our next steps.

We have definitely been through a roller coaster of emotions during these 6 months. We have felt ecstatic in December when we thought we were pregnant, hopeless at times, anxious, sad, hopeful, anger, confusion, and the occasional day of great strength. So welcome aboard the wild ride with us that we're embarking on... called infertility.




(In the next few days I'll be posting some of my writing about this from the last 6 months that explains more.)